So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
