I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
