you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
