I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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