And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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