What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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