note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
