if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
