After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
