The best revenge is premature balding
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
