Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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