im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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