I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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