are you still at the devil's house?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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