So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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