She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
