just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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