you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
