I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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