Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
