help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think your dad took our porno
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
