Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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