woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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