i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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