apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
