why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
