He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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