I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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