North Korea, Best Korea!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
