i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
