I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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