we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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