i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
