So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
