Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
