Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
