we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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