Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
