Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
