Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
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I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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