Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
