how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
