Im at strip club and am horny
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
