I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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