All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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