He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
