Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
