Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
