I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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