Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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