I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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