so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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