Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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