so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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