We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
