yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
