Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
