Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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