I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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