My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
