This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
