question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize