I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
