three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
