That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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