ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
