You don't have asthma, your pregnant
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
