Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
They have beer where we have blood.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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