i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
