All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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